hey!! If you have kids or planning to, then you must read How to resolve a conflict between children. if your child is playing silently then it is a’ awww..so cute’ feeling but usually it doesn’t happen because kids cant play or remain in clam all the way.
so here some tips to help you to resolve a conflict between children or sort out sibling problems so that the little ones stop discussing and solving their conflicts and you can enjoy your coffee easily
Childhood is a vital stage where conflicts between peers often appear, whether between siblings, cousins, classmates, friends, etc. But … how to resolve a conflict between children?
Sometimes, as parents, or professionals, we can feel a little lost or overwhelmed in this type of situation.
How can you help them to solve their conflict so that they can learn from this exercise? In this article we offer you 9 suggestions to resolve a conflict between children.
Conflicts in childhood
It is totally normal for children to present conflicts between themselves during this vital stage that is childhood .
Conflicts, disputes or discussions are frequent at these ages and, moreover, they are necessary so that little by little the child’s personality and self-determination are built.
The fact that each one has his own desires, needs and ideas, makes this type of situation probable. Beyond them, the important thing will be that they themselves (with adult support, when necessary) learn to manage, tolerate and face this type of solution.
They must understand that many disputes arise from the diversity of opinions and desires, and that the importance of approaching positions, listening and empathizing are key elements in resolving this type of conflict.
Through conflicts, children can learn new ways to interact, to know the other and to know themselves , to listen, to empathize, to open their minds …
Each conflict will be an opportunity for them to grow and evolve.
Furthermore to resolve a conflict between children, these types of situations open the doors to working with them different types of values related to understanding, education and socialization.
On the other hand, they allow us to work, in turn, on behavioral disorders, mental rigidity, assertiveness, difficulties in expressing wants and needs, etc.
However, in order to work on all these aspects, it is important that we first learn how to resolve a conflict between children.
How to help resolve a conflict between children
How to resolve a conflict between children ? Here we will see several guidelines to do it.
These are psycho-educational strategies, techniques and tools that the adult can apply to promote to resolve a conflict between children, but that children can finally integrate and apply autonomously in their day-to-day life, once they have been taught and have been able to put it in practice .
depending on their age (and their maturity level), we can adapt these guidelines to one methodology or another.
1. Identify the problem
First you have to know, What has happened? it is very important to resolve a conflict between children.
It is important that they themselves can verbalize what has happened, and can agree on the version of events .
If this cannot be achieved, unless each of you explain what you think has happened, how you have felt, etc.
Identifying the underlying problem is the first key on how to resolve a conflict between children.
2. Offer a space for them to express themselves
In line with the above, another key idea on how to resolve a conflict between children is to offer a space for emotional expression.
In other words, we must give them enough space to express how they have felt at the time of the conflict and how they are feeling at the moment.
How has the other person made you feel ? Do you think you have done well? And himself, has he acted well ?
Here it will also be important for the other child to listen to you (to listen to each other without interrupting).
3. Promote mutual understanding
It will be important to resolve a conflict between children that is to listening to each other, children can practice empathy and come to understand each other.
If a prior they cannot understand each other, unless they try.
For this the adult may intervene offering explanations about why each of them has acted in this way or another. If an absolute understanding of the other’s behavior does not come about, unless there is respect between the two.
4. Find joint solutions
Another key idea about how to resolve a conflict between children is to help them find joint solutions.
In other words, each one can contribute possible solutions to the conflict, but the interesting thing would also be that they reach a joint solution (for example, through brainstorming).
Here the adult can also intervene and accompany. It will also be a good time to “get iron out” of the matter (if it has not been a serious conflict) and to approach positions, relativism, etc.
6. Teach them to manage emotions
Emotional education is a key factor that will allow us to help our children (and our students, relatives, patients, etc.) in their emotional management.
Emotions and especially intense emotions (such as rage, anger …) can lead us to commit impulsive actions, which are not correct or that cause harm to others.
That is why we must practice by example and show them alternative ways of acting (avoiding hitting, yelling, self-harm …). Alternative behaviors to this can be: reflecting before speaking or screaming and hitting, speaking calmly, breathing before acting, putting yourself in the other’s shoes, keeping calm, etc.
7. Promote negotiation
Another key point that will to allow us to work on how to resolve a conflict between children is to encourage negotiation between them.
It would be a similar point to looking for joint solutions, although not the same.
Here it is a matter of promoting a kind of “deal” that includes understanding what has happened and a guideline to act from now on : for example, taking turns to watch TV, reading something, not disturbing the other when they are calm, listening to them before talking, etc.
In this sense, we must convey to them the importance of being flexible and open with each other, and how good they can feel reaching an agreement that they must then respect.
8. Apologize if necessary
It is great that children can reach on agreements, negotiate, listen to each other …
But sometimes, when one of the two has acted badly (or more than one), it is important that they can apologize and be aware of the seriousness and / or consequences of their acts .
That is why we must transmit the importance of forgiveness and repentance, and that they can verbalize that forgiveness.
The objective is that they express it sincerely, not “because we are forcing them”. “Making mistakes is human, but rectifying is wise.”
9. Track the situation
It may be that the situation has been one-off conflict, or it may also be recurring conflicts between the children themselves.
It is important to detect this type of dynamics if they exist, and act accordingly.
In this way, monitoring the situation will become another key factor on how to resolve a conflict between children , in this case, focused on preventing possible conflicts or discussions.
We can do this in different ways (depending also on whether we act as teachers, educators, therapists, parents …), but the important thing will be to observe and take note of the relationship between these people.
So, I suggested best of some solutions to resolve a conflict between children, If you have some experiences then please share more in comment box or email to me. So many hugs to my readers.