Friendship ties can be even stronger than love bonds, and losing friends sometimes cleaves the heart even worse than a breakup. so here I am sharing some key points of why do we lose friends with age
Why now there is no one to communicate with and how to make sure that it doesn’t get worse any further.
We are starting to make friends in the lower grades of the school. Gradually, they become more and more, the circle of communication expands and reaches Social Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis plateau in 25-30 years. After this mark, connections begin to melt, and the number of friends decreases Friendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span an average of 38%.
Let’s try to figure out why this happens and how to deal with this problem.
During your life, you will release some friendships and create new ones. The same goes for romantic partners. There are endings, but also new starts that are equally fantastic and happy. Something you probably also know is that there are different types of friendships. Your heart can establish an intimate and powerful association with a specific person to such an extent that they become pillars of your daily life. That is why it hurts to lose friends.
It can be even more relevant when it comes to women. According to a study published in the journal Epidemiology and Community Health , family relationships have a greater impact on men’s lives and health, while for women, it is the support of friends that greatly improves their physical and emotional well-being.
That’s why losing friends due to quarrels or other problems can in many cases have the same effect as when a romantic relationship ends.
How friendship changes as we grow older, main cause of Losing friends
In childhood, we are friends mainly with children from the classroom or neighbors. At this time, there are still no special interests, sincere conversations and intimacy. Children share Friendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span games and activities, learn to empathize with others and unite to achieve a common goal.
In adolescence (13-19 years), we keep some friends from school years and make new ones. At this time, close peers partially replace our parents. There is spiritual intimacy and mutual support, we learn to reveal ourselves to another person, trust him and understand what he wants. Friendship also prepares teens for couples.
In youth (19-30 years), social ties reach their peak.
We are losing some friends, but broken contacts are more than compensated for by new ones. Fellow students, first colleagues, partners , their friends and acquaintances – the circle of communication is wide and varied.
And after 30 years, our ties are slowly starting to evaporate. Teenagers spend Friendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span with friends, 29% of all waking hours, and in middle age this figure drops to a miserable 7%.
By age 65, 12–22% of people are left without friends at all. And although pensioners have much more time for communication, many simply have no one to communicate with. Old connections are lost, and new ones are difficult to make.
There are several reasons why adults stop actively making new contacts and lose friendships.
Needs and goals of communication change
It seems to teenagers and young people Social Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis that they will live forever. At this time, the collection of information about the world is a priority, and various social contacts are best suited for this purpose. Young people communicate with everyone in a row, easily make acquaintances and tend to peers.
With age, the picture changes. People realize that life is finite and that we should spend it on something pleasant. The number of friends begins to decline: only those who provide emotional closeness and warmth remain. The rest are ruthlessly expelled from the circle of friends.
Priorities shift to family
At first, marriage expands Friendships in Young and Middle Adulthoodsocial circle: people get close to friends and relatives of spouses. However, over time, priorities shift to the family. The spouse provides the person with what he previously received from friends: he becomes an entertainment partner, satisfies emotional needs – gives support and comfort, helps morally and physically.
With the birth of children, this effect only increases. A small child takes up a lot of time, the circle of interests varies greatly, especially when compared with childless friends. Often people lock themselves up in a family , and friendships themselves disappear.
No time left for communication
Like marriage, going to work can increase the number of friends. People often communicate with those who are somewhat similar to them: they share a view of the world, have similar interests and social status.
The probability of meeting such a person at work is quite high Social Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis.
At the same time, old friends are gradually disappearing due to lack of time and a growing chasm in interests and status.
In 68% of cases, middle-aged friendship ends accidentally, due to fault of circumstances Friendship in Later Life: A Research Agendasuch as moving. Only 25% of people intentionally terminate a relationship, usually because of betrayal.
Such circumstances also include accidents: the death of a sibling, spouse or child. After traumatic events, communication with friends may weaken due to grief and unwillingness to keep in touch.
A series of circumstances and lack of time leave us without close friends. This is logical, but there is nothing good about it. After all, friendship is necessary for a person no less than a healthy sleep and sports.
Losing friends: life afterwards
We know that friends come and go, and they take a piece of you with them while helping you grow.
Losing friends who really have a special place in our hearts leaves an open wound that remains forever.
If possible , stick to the good memories you have together. If you focus only on what tore you apart, your resentment will only grow, and you will hesitate to start new friendships.
Life teaches you lots of homework and you have to learn to accept them. No matter what has hit you, never close the door between your heart and love or the opportunity to find new, wonderful friends.
Friendship is the best medicine you can find.
Why friendship is needed at any age
From childhood, friendship defines our health and well-being. Children and teenagers who have friends more Friendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span are interested in learning and do better in school subjects than single guys. Emotional closeness with peers increases self-confidence and reduces the risk of depression.
In middle age, friendship still means a lot to a person. And although the relationship with the spouse affects Positive, Negative, and Ambivalent Interactions With Family and Friends: Associations With Well ‐ being psychological health is stronger, communication with friends is immediately after them and is more important than communication with relatives.
In old age, close relationships and social support help Trajectories of cognitive decline and social relation sretain cognitive functions, and social isolation, on the contrary, worsens Friendship in Later Life: A Research Agenda health and quality of life.
This was confirmed by the Grant Study, a 75-year large-scale study.What is needed for a good life? Lessons from the longest study of happiness life of more than seven hundred men from different social classes, trying to understand what really makes people happy and healthy.
It turned out that those who have a strong relationship with family , friends, and their community live happily and have good health and memory longer than those who are left alone or not satisfied with their relationship.
Friendship is not something unique to people. According to a study published in Time Magazine , researchers have discovered that chimpanzees, baboons, horses, hyenas, elephants and dolphins also have “best friends”. The impact of friendship on a person’s emotional world is incredible. However, all friendship is not equal and you can probably count your true friends on one hand.
That is why you have probably experienced the following friendship dimensions.
Friends help take care of your fears
According to a study conducted at the University of Virginia, two people may begin to experience the same feelings when the friendship is genuine and mutual.
The power of empathy is so strong that it can even be detected in medical tests, such as magnetic X-ray.
If you feel that someone is in danger and your friend is also aware of the situation, you will respond in the same way.
The areas of the brain that relate to fear and threat are activated identically in both friends.
Friendship is a form of daily reinforcement – an outlet where you can find relief, advice and comfort. You can let go of your problems, relieve stress and anxiety and relax to make your world a little more carefree.
If you consider the many benefits of “true” friendship, you will also understand the incredible bang when you lose friends of this kind for some reason.
To “end” with your best friend
Being forced to cut friendships or distance yourself from a person is usually something that happens for several reasons.
Sudden changes in interests, betrayals, lies, scams, fractions … there are many reasons why we can lose friends. But the ensuing consequences are something we all experience in the same way.
Losing friends forces you to go through the same painful struggle as when you end up with your partner.
You are going through a period of anger and denial, where you do not quite understand what really happened.
After that, you go into a phase of questioning, where you try to find reasons for the end.
Gradually you come to a sad phase, which is followed by acceptance
How not to be alone
The only way to improve something in any area of life is to devote time to it. And friendship is no exception.
Maintain an old relationship
Friendship is not static Friendship in Later Life: A Research Agenda: It is formed, maintained and disintegrated. At any moment in life, the closeness between people can grow, subside or remain unchanged, and at what level your relationship will be, depends on your investments.
Meet friends, call them, take an interest in their life. Try to do something together that is important to both of you. For example, to run together in the mornings, on weekends to go to the cinema, do something good, or just gather once a week for a cup of coffee, but – be sure! – no passes.
Change the environment to make new connections
Theory Social Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis social convoy states: throughout life we are accompanied by a group of people, which varies depending on the circumstances. Each change in the environment in the future can give you new friends.
Get a new hobby: sign up for some kind of master class, go to group classes in the gym, find community of interest in your city. You can find a friend at any age, and the older you get, the more meaningful and deeper the new relationship will be.